Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
