Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my poor anus
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
