shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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