She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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