The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
