Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
