New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
