Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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