I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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