it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
