I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This is the high leading the old right now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
