Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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