who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
