fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
