Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there was a trapeze. enough said
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
