Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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