I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
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