there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
