Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
