im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
