fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
