Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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