Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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