Acid is not a monday night drug
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
