Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
