so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
