A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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