have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
