Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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