the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
