found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
