Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
