dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
