I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
