I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
4 words: hood of his car
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
