Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
