You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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