so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
