At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Acid is not a monday night drug
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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