I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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