My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
