So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
