You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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