I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
