my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I was not drunk enough for that final.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
