your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
