i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
