May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm both gender and math confused
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
