Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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