I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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