if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
