Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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